During my depression phase in New York I stocked up on some Charles Bukowski books. This is the last line from the poem "Zero" from his book The Last Night of The Earth Poems. This line gave me hope. For months I did almost nothing. I sat paralyzed in our apartment, terrified of the life I had just jumped into: no job, no car, no school, no friends, no family, no familiarity. I was bored and scared and felt like things would never change. This line gave me hope that there would be more than just sitting in a broken down apartment waiting for something to feel okay. And there has been. And I'm sure there will be more. And I will be ready.
I moved to New York immediately after I got married (the first time!), too. I slid into a depression as I sat in our studio apartment with no job, no friends, no family, and no familiarity. All of this to say that it gets better...so much better. You've felt that, and you're correct in suspecting that there is more happiness and meaning to come. xo
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